Mum It's been sometime since I've felt your hands and heard your voice. As I grow older the more memories I wish I had shared with you. I can only fantasize of the conversations we would have about the people in my life and the things I've done. I know you would always have wise advice and always want to hear more about my day. I wish I could just call you to vent about things and have you calm me down. I wish I had your guidance and strength. Almost eleven years later and I still imagine you with me. I'm envious of my friends that get calls from their mums or have their mums to call. I can only imagine how different everything would be and how you'd look at me now. I am 23 this month, I always pictured us being best friends at this age. I wish I could just tell you how much I appreciated you and love you, how your courage gave me so much strength. I wish for days with you, listening to stories about when you were younger and the things you got up too. I always hear stories about you and how you were and I feel like I adapted your personality in some ways. I wish for late night talks and coming home to you. I wish you could see all that Fiona and Dad has became. You would be so proud of her. She was my role model after you passed and always kept an eye on me. She has done so well. She has grown into a woman I am so proud of and I could only imagine how proud you would be. Dad has become my best friend, we get along so well. He listens to my boy problems and tries to give me advice but it mostly comes out to "well forget about them". He has tried so hard with us, he has been so amazing. You would be so proud of Dad too, he's only become more crafty with everything, he's so proud of the house and all his hard work. Dad has become the all in one, he has given his everything to us... You picked the best man, as you already knew. I got a dog.. It's a long story we would laugh about. Benson, my dog has became everything to me. I could just imagine how displeased you'd be with such a big dog and how much he sheds. But he's such a suck, your heart would crumble into him I promise. There's so much I wish you were here for... so much I wish I could share with you. I wish for vacations with you, new memories, new favorites, new laughs, new conversations. I wish to feel your arms around me again, I wish to hear your voice, I wish to smell your smell and hear you say "I love you." even if it was all just one more time. I'm so upset that I never got the first with you. All the times I have wanted to call you, to see you, to hear your opinion, to have you there, to feel your love one more time. My heart aches to see you again. Your eyes were always so welcoming and your smile so wide. It's been awhile but I will never forget all the love. I wish for so many moments I didn't get with you. I wish for more time to spend just us two. I wish for so many things. Mainly I wish for your peace. I am happy to know you're out of pain now, and you're at rest. I love you more than I can ever express. I would give anything to have more memories with you. I would give anything to have you here. I miss you beyond explanation. I love you Mum. Together forever, never apart. Maybe in distance, but never in heart.